He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
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Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
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So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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