i jhust puked up my retainher.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
