They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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