what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
