the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
