I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
my sisters under your porch take her home
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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