Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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