just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
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