She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm gonna fight the coyote
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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