covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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