It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
