last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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