it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
You are a genius and a whore.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
