I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
