her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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