Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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