He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Randomize
