Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
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i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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