dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
"it" just moved
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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