Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
