please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
