Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Can you repeat that, but with context?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
