I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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