i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Randomize
