My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
