when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
