He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
