i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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