I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
