No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
