Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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