i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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