kristin has been a bad kristin
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
