a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
