Ambien. No doubt about it.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
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