saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
