help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
