Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
