plz talk dirty to me
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
