oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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