note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
