I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
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