Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
