Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
