Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
