so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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