Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
