so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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