New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
