One girl and one boy is just not enough.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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