great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
