I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like iHOP with fire
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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