Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Randomize
