I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
