I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
