Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
