Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
