actually, I'm a sock model
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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