This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
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