Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize